"Crashes are not good, crashes are very bad," Tasha whined incessantly, fretting all the while.

Mollie patted her sister's head, not too unkindly, "It's okay, Tash, we just drove over something!"

There was a popping sound, followed by a hissing sound, followed by a  terrible jolt as the van stopped moving, grinding to a halt in the middle of the empty highway.

"Flat tires," Jack announced cheerfully.

"I'll flatten yer haid!" Hamish bellowed, jumping up.

"We need to get help," Mollie stated sensibly, climbing over band members and band equipment until she reached the front seat, where Sparki was sitting, looking rather dazed, in the driver's seat. "Hey," Mollie demanded of Sparki, "Didn't we pass a castle back there?"

"Maybe they have a phone," suggested Denara, scrabbling forward to join Mollie and Sparki. The van began to tilt forward as the laws of physics met the Neon Lites. Craig uneasily jumped up and down in the back, to balance the weight.

"Castles don't have phones ye feeble minded twit." Hamish muttered.

"You don't have to be so insulting," Denara sulked.

"Hey coach, what do you think - is the kid right?" Jack addressed Mollie.

"Yeah, she is right. You don't have to be so insulting, Hamish." Mollie firmly admonished.

Jack spoke through clenched teeth, attempting to keep what little composure he had left, "Maybe someone at that castle can help us...."

Tasha looked out of the van window at the forbidding and foreboding forest standing between the broken tour bus and possible civilization.  Clouds were threatening to amass to cover the moon in a simply fiendish plot to darken the path and resemble a really bad John Carpenter movie.

"You know," Tasha commented, "I don't think it was night time during our last episode. I think the author is trying to scare us."

"Ach, lassy, tis a broad moon licht nicht." Hamish clucked his tongue. (note to R & R - is that right???)

"Still," Tasha grimaced, "I'd be much happier with better lighting.  Can't we do this in the day time?"

Without a word (or any regard for Tasha's obvious trauma), the band left the van. A short debate and several votes later ("Recount! I demand a recount" - Craig MacCraig), it was decided that the instruments were safe in the van. Jack and Hamish rolled up the windows and locked the doors before heading out.

"OOOOHHHHH," Craig began playing his fiddle ("damn straight I'm not leavin' it behind") and cheerfully sang, "Over the river and through the woods to a scary old castle we go, oh...."

"Oh, dear," Tasha whispered to Mollie in terror, "do you really think it's OLD? Old means dusty with cobwebs and ghosts. Dust is so bad for your skin...."

"Say, Coach," Jack joined up with Mollie and Tasha, "Do you think this is such a good idea?"

"Why am *I* always in charge?" Mollie exclaimed.

"Once a Girl Scout, always a Girl Scout," Jack sang.

Mollie stopped and turned to confront him. "I'll have you know I was  thrown OUT of Girl Scouts!"

"What for?" Denara inquired brightly.

"For e......" Tasha began, then clamped her mouth shut as Mollie's hand slapped over it. Tasha bit down (wouldn't you?).

The Neon Lites never were to find out what crime caused the Girl Scouts to kick Mollie out of their fray, because at that moment, a heart stopping scream ripped through the night air. Tasha scrambled up Craig and clung to his head, perched precariously atop his shoulders.

"I think it came from the castle," Denara exclaimed.

            Tasha jumped out of Craig's arms and began walking in the opposite direction. "Buh bye...Have fun storming the castle..."

Craig grabbed her arm, "Tasha, wait!"

Tasha's lower lip protruded, "We are NOT going to the castle. We are  going back to the van and calling Triple A."

"We don't have Triple A," Jack pointed out helpfully.

"Or a phone," Denara added.

"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!" Tasha stomped her foot, her stress evident in the fact that she didn't even notice when her purple leather boots sunk into forest mud, fungi and weeds.

Denara grabbed a large stick from the ground and began running towards the castle, brandishing it out in front of her, ready to wallop all and sundry. "SOMEone has to be chivalrous," she called back over her shoulder. With that remark, she ran smack into a tree that had stepped out in front of her.

"This like, somehow seems bogusly familiar," Sparki commented, reaching into her backpack for a journal and recording the events as they happened.

In the meantime, Hamish and Jack, chastened by Denara's burst of masochistic enthusiasm had taken testosterone (and various other crude weapons from the forest floor) in hand and had sauntered off to rescue the damsel in distress. (Not Denara, the other one. The screamer, who was now pretty tired of screaming.)

"Comin' are ye, Craig lad?" Hamish asked.

"Ummm, someone might get hurt," Craig looked at his feet, thoughtfully, then smiled brightly, "I think I'll stay and protect the wee lasses."

Denara, although still dizzy from the bump on her head, leapt to her feet and whapped Craig on the backside with her ready-made staff.  "Who are you calling a wee lass? I'll protect YOU right up the..."

"Comin' lads!!!!" Craig called running to catch up and get out of  harm's...that is *Denara's* way.

"I think someone has lost control here," Mollie commented.

"Yeah," Sparki looked up from her journal, "I totally think it's the author. She has a way bogus head cold of the most heinous variety and she has taken too many Benadryl. As if a person under the influence should be writing our adventures!"

"Duh and stuff," Tasha agreed, wishing most earnestly for some pain killers to put her out of her misery.  (About this time an argument ensued about whose fault the lost control really was - and the girls promptly blamed the boys, because as we all know, boys always have the remote control. This got a bit chaotic until the author threatened to hit the <> button and erase anyone who offended her. Finally, the story was able to resume at the front gate of the castle...)

"Enter at your own risk..." Mollie read the wooden sign nailed (nailed???) to the wrought iron gate (nailed???).

"Like, should we totally risk it or should we, like, walk back to Sheboygan??" Sparki questioned the others.

"Hey, does anyone even know where Sheboygan is?" Jack inquired.

"Uh-huh..." Tasha nodded. The others looked amazed and waited for her response. "It's where the space ship is - Duh!"

Another scream pierced the air. Craig sidled up beside Tasha.  "Dinnae worry lass, I'll protect ye," he grinned. Tasha only felt a little better.