Bruce sighed and peered at the distinctive green leaves scattered at his feet. "Well, now, must make the best of it" he tried cheerfully. "What'll it be children, boutonierres? Corsages? Nose gays???"

Hamish silenced him with A Look. "I think we hae us a BIGGER problem tae be dealin' with!" he growled.

(Kasey left the story hanging? KASEY left the story hanging???)

Tasha stared at the Bear. "That is the WORST haircut I ever saw!" she commented, pulling a nail file from... somewhere, and touching up her manicure.

Bruce patted her arm. "Don't you be so hard on that bear, sweetie...." he objected, "all it needs is a high power volumizer and some salon quality conditioner..."

Mollie squeaked and managed to hit both of them with a left handed curve ball shot involving a handful of tree bark, a few scraps of poison Ivy and one very surprised earthworm.

The hair experts subsided, as the bear glared in their direction (with a look only slightly less aggravated than Mollie's) and began lumbering toward them.

Tasha shrieked.

Mollie yelled "DO SOMETHING!!!!!" and swatted Hamish, who helpfully slung Snerdly's inert form into the path of the bear.

Faced with this odiferous assault to it's senses, the bear reared up on hindlegs and glared down at the Neon Lites.

Craig began fiddling.

"What are you DOING!!!" Mollie hissed.

Craig grinned and began another chorus of "Waltzing with Bears" until Hamish, in a patriotic show of civic duty, smote him with a tree branch.

Bruce hauled the fiddler up and dusted him off thoroughly. Several times.

"We NEED his help!" he protested. (Craig was protesting also, but for an entirely different reason...) "You know, music soothes the savage beast and all that?"

Mollie frowned. "How come Craig gets to save us?"

Craig grinned cheekily. " ' Cuz I play the fiddle and Kasey likes me" he said smugly. He winked at Tasha. "I think I may ask for a wee bit raise."

("Raise you right off the pavement!" Fiona muttered, to which Kasey objected and Annabelle snorted. A three way argument then ensued over which characters should get top billing, and whether to order the imminent writer's conference pizza with or without Pepperoni. Fiona won the latter argument, having given up meat yet again, but Kasey won the former, since she was the only one at the time who had all the notes to the "Trivial Pursuit From Hell" chapter, which Fiona wanted badly. Annabelle went shopping. This episode of "A look at the life of three demented women writing a space opera" brought to you by our sponsor, 'Buy More Computer Products Inc' ( found at www.repeat sales.com) Thank you.)

Sparki cocked her head. "Most excellent friends!" she chorused... (yes, chorused.

All by herself.

In three part harmony.

MOST triumphant)

"Do not remove yourselves to a totally higher panic bracket!

I have the answer!"

Hamish groaned and buried his head in the poision Ivy. "here we go again...."

Sparki ignored him. "Dig this! We have a totally mondo cool secret weapon that'll like, trick the hairy bear quadrupeddlers into, like, leaving."

All eyes turned to Snerdly's now moaning form.

Bruce shook his head. "If he's going to try to play the fluegel horn again, I will walk my pretty little self over to that bear and take my chances"

Sparki grinned. "Like, chill, most elegant and well polished hairdresser, you will not be aurally assaulted!"

("What was that????" said Jack, in an unauthorized cameo, until the authors riminded him (forcibly) that he was no longer in the story)

Hamish boggled. "You people hae the maist uncanny ability to talk fer hours and no' say a thing" he pronounced wearilly. "What aboot the BEAR!"

Tasha blinked. "There's a bear?"

Mollie came back from the edge of the forest where she had been banging her head against a tree trunk. "Do we have a plan? TELL me we have a plan!"

Sparki reconnected at last. "DUDES! We will escape the bear by using THIS!"

So saying, she tore open her backpack and held up the promised secret weapon.

Hamish put a gentle arm around her shoulders. "Lass" he said softly, "That's bubble wrap." (he then took another swipe at the cheeky fiddler, who was playing a dreadful celtic interpretation of "Tiny Bubbles", while Bruce passed out hawaiian flower Leis to everyone but the bear.)

Sparki beamed. "Like, DUH!" she agreed. "Watch this!" With that she began snapping the bubbles on the plastic sheet one after the other, slowly at first, then faster and faster until Craig was fiddling out a bouncy jig in time to the popping.

The bear glared.

The bear stared.

The bear listened to the sound of the popping bubble wrap and peered at the sky. Then, opening a large fuschia umbrella with massive paws, it hustled the cub in the direction of the cave, all the while watching for non-existant thunderclouds overhead.

Sparki stopped snapping. "Totally false sound of rain, most excellent, I am sure."

Snerdly sat up in the poison ivy. "I can't believe that worked! That should NOT have worked!"

Hamish sighed and collared Craig, who was now bounding about the clearing fiddling "Raindrops keep falling on my head"

"Can someone PLEASE..." the piper shudderd, "GET the fiddler some DECAF???"